10

a poem by celia.

the space between us is a chasm that i could narrow if i took a leap of faith and seal it close to create a vacuum between our bodies then our teeth while mouthing the nine now ten poems that ive written about you and my pen should be tired of skirting around your name my tongue should have run out of ink it probably has but it seems that Mayer was wrong about energy being conserved because my heart still dregs up it out of thin air to bring you to mind remembering with hazy clarity that you loved to lend my fluttering stomach fleeting flowery praises entwining warmth into my fingers to pull me across the orange field on the last day of secondary school and throw out careless promises and declarations with a bright smile i know we will never fulfil not in this life and i should hate you but i have traced through my soul to find the pieces that you’ve caressed and warped through your gentle guidance in the terribly difficult subject of literature and that one twelve-hour call we did not want to end and the words and fears and burdens we could exchange between ourselves and no one else more precious than the gap i covet so i have chosen to find the courage to pocket the pen and tuck your memory into a special unlabeled box as we both are and walk alongside you not touching except for the occasional shoulder bumping to know that you are still there 

of course you are still there

— celia

note: woooo i forgot about posting oops! a little run on here :D this marked my tenth poem about her.